honker (hôngk-er, hngk-er) n. (1) a person born without brains (2) a complete idiot (3) aliens’ revenge on mankind.
Are you deaf? No seriously. Before you get on the vehicle, you leave your brains outside is it? What is the reason for your honking? You think that once you honk, all the vehicles in front of you will vanish is it?
I don’t know from where you are getting that anger once you get on your vehicle. What you think of yourself in your mind? That you are Moses or what? Everybody should part and give you way is it? Bloody you are not giving way to ambulance itself. Who will give you way?
While starting, honking. While going, honking. While stopping also honking! What the hell, man?
While starting you are checking if horn is working. That is fine. That is the only sensible thing you are doing. After that you completely become mental. Otherwise why the hell do you keep on pressing the horn man?
You think you are a hero if you keep pressing the horn or what? What, you want to put scene in front your girl friend is it?
City speed limit is there. Overtaking limit is there. Lane limit is there. That and all you don’t care. If there is empty space in the road and you are not able to go there means honk. That’s all no? Idiot.
While going forward you are making trouble. While going backwards also you are making trouble! The reversing tune you are using. Uffo. Too much! How many years will you still use “Made in India Made in India” as a reversing tune man? What made in India? Nothing is made in India. Or otherwise you have that Airtel song. Absolutely irritating stuff.
But you know who is the worst kind of honker in this world? That idiot who honks every 2 seconds. Beep. He just cannot live without honking. Beep. This is how his conversation with his wife will be
“Listen no. Beep. What? Beep. Remember that uncle who lived next door? Beep. Yes. Beep. His sister died. Beep. When? Beep. Last night in her sleep. Beep. Nice lady. Beep. RIP. Beep.”
You have no respect for dead people also? You look into the mirror. Beep. Why? You want to honk at the vehicle coming behind you?
Oh and you are not stopping with that. The scene you put when you are nearing a signal. Oh god. Too much overacting. Just now you saw the signal turn from green to orange. What you think? If you just keep honking continuously means, automatically red signal wont fall is it? Nonsense fellow.
And when the signal turns green once again, next second you are back to honking. Wait boss, the vehicles in the front have to go no? The first vehicle is some hundred metres away. If you look at the first vehicle and honk means, he will know is it? He can’t even hear you man.
When you honk like that that, you know how I feel? I want to stop my bike. Then, in sloow motion, I want to turn around, walk over to your car or bike or whatever the piece of shit you are driving. Then, I want to pull you out by your collar while Hans Zimmer plays a background score, adjust your face position so that you look straight into my eyes.
And then I want to punch your nose. In slow motion. Actually, in ultra motion.
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