The Local Tea Party

The pen is mightier than the sword and all ok, but don't try to fight with a pen. Otherwise there will be ink all over you.

How things have come to this level is a great mystery. Even greater mystery is how nobody is objecting to it! Boss, attracting the females is the one and only full time aim of the gentlemen in this world is it?! Who said? Bring that fellow here. Not everything that men want to buy is to attract the ladies!

What a ridiculous false propaganda this is! I am serious man, take a look at the advertisements and you will start thinking ki men are roaming around the streets always thinking ‘How do I attract the ladies? How do I attract the ladies?’

And Virat Kohli is coming and giving two ideas instead of one to attract girls it seems. First of all, which idiot will buy a phone to attract a girl? No seriously, tell me. And I don’t understand who will be the bigger joker here, the guy who will buy this cellphone or the girl who will be attracted to him because of this?

At least this fellow is young fellow (cellphone company, not Virat Kohli) and at least cellphone—>smartphone—>smart—>gents some connection is there. We can forgive. But underwear? Underwear???!!!

First and second of all, how and why will the ladies know what brand underwear the men are wearing? Even if they know and even if they get attracted to it, it means it is the name of the underwear brand that is attractive and not its contents. Why you are spreading such false propaganda against the gentlemen like this? And then lungi! Don’t even want to discuss that here.

Arey, one time you are showing a girl running away from a guy with a car to a guy with a two-wheeler. On seeing this thousands of gentlemen are buying bikes in the hope of giving lift to a girl from bus-stop. But then there are no girls only in the bus stop because secretly you are selling Scooty and Activa to them. And then you are also showing girls running away from guy with bike to guy with car and they both are leaving the guy with bike in deal and secretly giggling ‘Let’s Go’. What ridiculous nonsense is this?

Then you will come tell, ‘Oh, so you are saying then this is not true? Men don’t want to attract ladies?’, this, that. True boss, that desire will be there, but not like what you are saying. But we will understand if you say things like, ‘If you go to gym, you will attract ladies’ or ‘If you read good books, you will attract ladies.’

But see for yourself, what nonsense you are yapping.

If you buy a soft drink, you will attract ladies.

If you buy a bike, you will attract ladies.

If you buy a car, you will attract ladies.

If you buy a cellphone, you will attract ladies.

If you buy a suitcase, you will attract ladies.

If you buy a lungi, you will attract ladies.

If you buy underwear, you will attract ladies.

If you buy music cd, you will attract ladies.

If you buy toothpaste, you will attract ladies.

If you use debit card, you will attract ladies.

Boss! What is this?

Already some idiot men are doing nonsense things to ladies and the whole country is outraging. On top of this you are showing as if men are so desperate to attract the ladies. And already men are confused ki when the ladies will be funny and when they will suddenly become angry and say ‘You are such a misogynist. All men are rapists. All men are like this. All men are like that.’ On top of this you are showcasing men like this means how?

Arey other than the Drive to Bond, men also have some other nice decent intentions too. Like…ok there is no time to discuss such lengthy topics here. Later.

Even if the men are doing all of the above things and more on top of this, the ladies will say, ‘This and all ok, but most importantly the man should have a sense of humour. That is only crucial.’ Then what will the gentlemen do? Everything is now waste.

Better you do one thing. If you want to make such advertisements means first you manufacture appropriate product like one Sense of Humour spray. Then you can advertise as

'Spray this and attract ladies!'

'Just one spray for one hour of sense of humour! Lasts long! Really long!'

At least some sense will be there.

But then, even for that also ladies will counter it because they will come fully loaded with a Sense of Sarcasm Spray. Or worse. Pepper spray.

Who will deal with such things?



1 year ago
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