The Local Tea Party

Have you tried watching TV with your parents? Don’t. If you still want to do so means, all the best.

First of all it is the most confusing and frustrating experience you will have in your life. You will be watching some movie for a long time. Nobody will be around. But I don’t know from where they will come, but the moment two people are kissing on screen, the parents will appear from somewhere and stand behind you.

I am thinking the kissing will be at romantic level and will go away in one second or so. But at that time only those two will passionately roll on the floor and just not stop it. Oh god, terribly embarrassing it will be. And on top of that the parents will ask ki, ‘What movie you are watching?’ As if it is very important now. Boss, I myself am upset right now.

While we were kids only they prevented us from seeing all the adult stuff. Next day in school, this guy will come and tell ki how his parents were out of town and how he watched Basic Instinct full movie on Star Movies and all. But when our parents go out of town, all the useless movies they will put. Ok fine, then we were kids and were not ‘supposed’ to see them. Ok.

But now? Now we are fully grown proper adults and still they are preventing? Actually, they are not preventing us and all. They are only just standing near you and watching along with you. How to watch, you tell? Now, don’t give lecture ki, if you want adult stuff means you can see it on internet like teenagers. That and all we know. I am asking about proper adult content that can be shown on TV.

Now some ‘open-minded’ fellow will be thinking ki, what is there? Why to feel so embarrassed and all? Arey, what to do? You will understand only if your parents also had changed the channels when Carefree advertisement came on air. Or the Nirodh ads. For a long time, I didn’t know itself ki what Nirodh was. Because by the time the guy in the ad said ‘condom’, the parents would have changed the channel. I thought it was ‘Nirodh tonic’ or something.

For people like us, this self-censoring is so much in the DNA ki nowadays even when there is no one around and there is a saucy scene on TV, automatically you feel like changing the channel!

If you feel brave and bold and strong and resisting the urge to change channel means, the channel guy is putting all the censors in place. Even Titanic they are censoring yaar! That epic scene? Gone! Boss, what is the point if that scene is not shown? No, seriously! Do you realize how upset Kate Winselet will be if she comes to know of this? And best is, even subtitles they are changing! Like they are changing ‘shit’ to ‘crap’. Somebody tell me how this is even logical.

Children should not watch adult stuff means understandable. But adult stuff itself should not be there or what? That too only when we are adults now! Hell, we can even be parents soon. If I ask this means you will say ki ‘Chee, this fellow is so cheap and desperate’. But before everyone you will only go to the internet secretly and stream amateur videos.

Despite all this mega censoring, we are still not able to watch the TV in the presence of parents. Ok. Fine. We don’t want to be embarrassed in front of parents by watching movies. You switch on news channel means there only Poonam Pandey is standing there in bikini flashing her..teeth at you. On Prime Time National Television. Arey! What the hell do they want us to do man?

You throw the remote in frustration means immediately the parents are grabbing the remote and putting on some devotional channel. Oh god.

Boss how many hours in the day will they show devotional stuff on TV yaar? Devotional stuff also I can understand. Chalo, peace of mind for parents. Ok, accepted. One fellow is doing yoga 24 hours on TV! Mad or what?

Thinking about all this itself is such a traumatic experience. You still want to switch on that TV when your parents are around?