The Local Tea Party

The pen is mightier than the sword and all ok, but don't try to fight with a pen. Otherwise there will be ink all over you.

(Inspiration - Mary Schmidt/Baz Luhrmann and Sidin Vadukut)

Ladies and gentlemen of the world of 2012, watch cartoons.

If I could offer you only one tip for this year means, cartoons would be it. The long term benefits and scientists’ proof and all you don’t worry about, just watch means watch. Whereas as the rest of my message for you this New Year has no basis more reliable than my own non-existent experience…I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your two-wheeler; oh never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your two wheeler until you buy a car and get stuck in traffic. When you buy a car in five years, then only you will understand ki how comfortable your bike was and how many cops you cheated and how much petrol you saved back then…Two wheelers are not as bad as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the March 31 year end targets or worry, knowing ki all year end targets culminate on April Fools’ Day. The real troubles in your life will be from the fact that you are wearing one stinking pair of socks for at least 9 hours every day or the fact that you are not taking bath on a lazy Sunday.

Do a sales job at least once in your career.


Don’t leave nasty comments in other people’s walls and blogs. Don’t publish dirty comments that other people leave on your blogs.


Don’t expect people to like every thing you say on social websites. Sometimes you are liked many times, sometimes nobody will even read your status update…the race is long and in the end, the status update is only a way of talking to yourself.

Remember to wish people on their birthdays outside Facebook, ignore the people who don’t wish you on yours. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your Reynolds pen cap safe, throw away your torn socks.


Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know how to use macros in Microsoft Excel…the most well-paid analysts I know hardly excel in anything else. Some of the most well-paid guys I know cannot even rename a sheet in Excel.

Get plenty of hard disk space for your computer.

Be kind to your computer. You will miss it when it crashes and lose all your pictures when you have to format your hard-disk.

Maybe you eat non-veg food, maybe you don’t, maybe you eat only egg, may be you don’t, maybe you’ll be a vegetarian and still eat chicken, maybe you eat chicken only when consuming alcohol..whatever you do, don’t laugh at the person doing the thing opposite of what you do - you are lying to your parents, so is everybody else.

Enjoy travelling by train. Use it every time you can. Don’t travel in AC coaches just because the company is paying for it. Travel in sleeper class with windows open. It’s the greatest way to have fun.

Kiss. Even if you are single, find someone or something to kiss. But don’t do it in public places.

Look at the traffic signal, even if you don’t obey it.

DO NOT watch news channels. They will only make you angry.

Get to know your current mobile phone. You never know when it will be gone for good.

Be nice to your colleagues. They only will cover up for you if you are lying to your boss and taking fake sick-leave.

Understand that neighbours come and go, but there are a precious few you must always annoy. Work hard to find out that neighbour girl’s phone number, because the more you delay, the more the possibility of her boyfriend dropping her off outside your apartment right before your eyes.

Live in south India once, but leave before you forget how to drive a car. Live in north India once, but leave before you forget how to drive.


Accept certain inalienable truths. iPhone 4S will become old in a few months. You must never change your iPhone ringtone from its default Marimba tune. Metro rail system will never reduce traffic on the roads. You will never find a young Air India air hostess. An on-site job is NOT the end of the world. Respect the people who have never seen the First World.

Respect the south Indians for their filter coffee.
Don’t expect the TV to show good programs all the time. Put it on mute when advertisements are on.

Don’t put cat pictures on your profile.

Be careful whose blog you read, but, appreciate those who blog. Blogging is a form of yoga, where you do abnormal things just to keep you normal.

But trust me on the cartoons.

2 years ago
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