First of all, Ban honking. Then Ban Dhoom themed car-reversing tunes. Ban car reversing tunes.
Ban anger-inducing annoying stupid speed breakers that exist in the middle of the road for no reason other than to make men impotent. Ban public display of middle finger by angry car drivers. Ban angry people from driving cars. Ban angry people from driving anything. Ban anger.
Ban unhealthy food. Actually don’t. But ban them from being eaten by children. Ban peas pulao and one-fourth naan at buffet lunches during all-day bullet point filled power point presentations. Ban power point presentations. Ban bullets.
Ban reality television for kids. Ban children from talking like grownups. Ban grownups from stealing children’s childhood. Ban anything that takes away childhood from children.
Ban preferential treatment to car owners in hotels. Ban discrimination against single people.
Ban ridiculous marketing campaigns asking men to shave in order to get laid. Ban asking men to shave. Ban anything except condoms that men have to buy so that they can get laid.
Ban full page real estate ads. Ban any kind of real estate ads.
Ban ridiculously expensive mineral water that claims to have Gold, Silver, Bronze, Diamond, Emerald, Ruby, Sun, Moon, Milky Way, Big Bang, God Particle in ultramicroscopisitical quantities. Ban fairness cream. Ban photoshopping wrinkles. Ban wrinkle free creams to get that perfect fake smile. Ban fake smiles.
Ban messing with the hair to get that messy look. Ban baldness curing solutions.
Ban playing with guilt by NGOs.
Ban people from walking around the room while brushing their teeth.
Ban people from talking on mobile phones in movie theaters. Ban interfering when others are speaking. Ban unproductive Parliament adjournments.
Ban plastic chairs.
Ban complicating discussions on sports and music by elitists. Ban complications. Ban elitism. Ban priority seats. Ban priority seats until I am given priority seats.
Ban ‘Caveat Emptor’.
Ban laughing at others’ misery. Ban misery.
Ban using money as a measure to define success. Ban using social status to define success. Ban defining success.
Ban linguistic barriers. Ban contempt to familiarity.
Ban patriotism as an excuse. Ban boundaries.
Ban people from taking themselves seriously. Ban taking language seriously. Ban grammar nazis. Ban intolerance. Ban hiding behind tradition. Ban confusing history textbooks with Future for Dummies.
This and all too much to ask. So Happy New Year.